How Torchwood Saved Chanukah aka Hanukkah
by Aviv b
Summary: Dreidels are disappearing in Cardiff!  Who's stealing them?  Why is this a job for Torchwood?  Will they solve the mystery and save Chanukah?  Oy, such angst I wouldn't even wish on RTD!   8 short chapters so you can enjoy all of Chanukah with the TW gang
1. Chapter 1

Dreidels are disappearing in Cardiff. How can you celebrate Chanukah without dreidels?

* * *

Cardiff, the capital of Wales has had a small Jewish population since the 1700s. While never very big, in recent years it has dwindled to only about 1,000 people. Still, the city has two synagogues (the one you attend and the one you would NEVER attend), a Jewish day school, and Hillel House located near the Cardiff University campus.

In early December, the Jews of Cardiff were beginning to think about Chanukah. Chanukah coincided with Christmas that year, and preparations needed to be made for the parties and events that revolved around the holiday. Since the Jewish population was so small, holiday items were often shipped in bulk from one of the large Judaica shops found in London. So when an SUV filled with dreidels and Chanukah candles and party decorations was broken into outside a synagogue, people were upset, but not hysterical. Strange thing, only the dreidels were missing, everything else, including the car owner's cell phone and laptop were untouched.

However, when a few days later, the Hillel House at Cardiff University was broken into and upon inspection only the dreidels were missing, the community began to worry a bit.

Within the next week, four additional reports of dreidel theft were reported. The Cardiff police didn't know what to make of it. Most of the stolen dreidels were very inexpensive, costing less than £1 to maybe £5 each. Only one dreidel, which was stolen from a residence, had any significant monetary value. It was a Waterford crystal dreidel and was given as a wedding gift to a couple who had met for the first time at a Chanukah party.

When yet another report came in about a stolen dreidel, P.C. Andy Davidson decided it was time to call on the expertise of Torchwood. Ianto Jones was manning the tourist desk when Andy stopped by. He explained to Ianto what had been occurring.

"The Jewish community is getting a bit concerned. It's all very odd. There's no sign of a break-in, and only the dreidels have been stolen. Most have been cheap toys, plastic or wood, not really valuable to anyone. And often there have been much more valuable items close at hand that haven't been touched. There's been no vandalism; nothing's been damaged, no ones been hurt, but it's pretty unnerving. The community doesn't know if it's a bad practical joke or something more sinister. One member of the community expressed a fear that the dreidels will be hollowed out, filled with explosives and then given to unsuspecting children."

"That is strange. And you are sure there's been no sign of a break-in," Ianto asked.

"None at all."

"But why do you think its Torchwood business?"

"I was present at the scene of two of the thefts. And I noticed a tiny bit of blue powder near where the dreidels were kept. Nobody noticed anything at the other crime scenes but that doesn't mean that there wasn't powder there as well. The crime lab tested the powder and found that it wasn't a toxin or anything like that. They thought it might be some type of genetic material, but nothing like they've seen before. So I figured, blue, genetic, not from around here…"

"Spooky-doos," Ianto said smiling." Well, let me talk to Jack and the team and I'll see what we can come up with."

Later that day, Ianto spoke to Jack about the situation and Jack set up a meeting for the next morning. In the meantime, Andy emailed pictures of the crime scenes as well as the types of dreidels that had been stolen.


	2. Chapter 2

SUMMARY: Disappearing dreidels, reappearing dreidels, strange blue powder with unidentified genetic material- sounds like a job for Torchwood!

8 short chapters so you can enjoy all of Chanukah with the Torchwood Team.

Pictures of the dreidels and the lovely cat menorah may be seen at:

http: /artwork-avivb. livejournal. com (remove the spaces) /4933. html

* * *

The next morning, they met in the conference room. Jack had a small smile on his face as he told the others about the thefts.

"What the hell are dreidels, anyway?" Owen asked in his usual cheerful manner.

"They're tops, toys really played with by children at Chanukah."

Ianto pulled up a few pictures on the computer.

"Now the dreidels that were stolen from the SUV at Cardiff United Synagogue were for a children's party, simple plastic multi-colored ones."

"What are those runes on the dreidel?" asked Gwen.

"They are actually Hebrew letters. Each side of the dreidel bears a letter of the Hebrew alphabet: נ (Nun), ג (Gimel), ה (Hei), ש (Shin), which together form the acronym for "**נ**ס **ג**דול **ה**יה **ש**ם" (**N**es **G**adol **H**aya **Sh**am – "a great miracle happened there").

"This commemorates the Miracle of Light when, while cleansing the temple after its desecration by Antiochus Epiphanes in 167 BC, a cruse of sacred oil sufficient for only one day burned for eight days while the priests prepared new oil for the Temple."

"But how come the letters are on a top?" Tosh puzzled.

Ianto sighed; this was going to be a long meeting. "The four letters also stand for the Yiddish words nit (nothing), gantz (all), halb (half) and shtell (put), which are the rules of the game! There are some variations in the way people play the game, but it's usually played with candy or toothpicks so that it's not really a gambling game. Let's just call them coins for simplicity. Everyone puts in one coin. A person spins the dreidel. If it lands on Nun, nothing happens; on Gimel you get the whole pot; on Hei, you get half of the pot; and on Shin, you put one into the pot. It was probably just a mnemonic device to help children learn about the story."

"So dreidel, that would be Hebrew for top, right?" Jack proudly asserted.

"Uh, actually, it's Yiddish," Ianto replied.

"I realized that Chanukah and tops and toothpicks are fascinating topics, but could we please get back to robberies," Owen begged rolling his eyes dramatically.

"The dreidels stolen from the Hillel house were inexpensive wood tops."

"A private home had a small collection of dreidels stolen, nothing terribly expensive, but most were gifts from the woman's children and grandchildren over the years and she's just heartbroken." Ianto showed pictures of some of the dreidels.

"She obviously was very fond of cats and musical instruments. The thieves did leave, however, the oh so lovely cat menorah," Ianto snarked.

Everyone laughed and thank goodness no one asked what a menorah was.

"A sterling silver one was stolen from a gift shop in downtown Cardiff. It's the most expensive one nicked so far – about £150."

"Lastly, we have a lovely Waterford crystal dreidel that was given as wedding present to some newlyweds." A nice gift at £40 or so, but it was sitting next to some heirloom silver given to the couple by one of the grandmothers, at an estimated value of £5000."

Everyone gasped.

Ianto went on to explain about the blue powder, the fact that there was no sign of a forced entry and the oddness of cheap toys being stolen when valuable items in the same location were not touched.

The Team agreed that something sounded suspiciously alien about the whole affair.

Ianto proposed that they set up a visit with the Orthodox Rabbi at Cardiff United Synagogue (aka CUF) to see if they could find any more information. Just then, the phone line from the police department rang. Jack answered and mouthed 'P.C. Andy' to everyone.

"Andy, I'm putting you on the speaker phone, OK?" Jack did just that. "OK, Andy, what's going on, it sounds serious."

"I got a call from the head of the day school at the Orthodox synagogue about 30 minutes ago. The dreidels have reappeared. They were left just inside the front door. They appear untouched, but someone suggested that they could have been tampered with and then someone else thought they might contain explosives, and then everyone got a little hysterical. They've evacuated the children and the teachers and staff. I'm over there now, waiting for the bomb and hazmat squad. The Rabbi thinks they'll have to cancel the children's Chanukah party next week if this isn't solved by then. Can you get over here and take a look before anything gets moved around?"

Jack told him they'd be right over. "Owen you're with me. Bring some DNA test kits; assuming the dreidels aren't explosive we'll want to take some samples for genetic material. Ianto, Tosh, we need to get to the bottom of this, see what you can think of. Gwen, check every break-in for Cardiff for the last month. See if there are any other robberies that fit this pattern or anything else unusual that's being stolen."


	3. Chapter 3

**SUMMARY: Disappearing dreidels, reappearing dreidels, strange blue powder with unidentified genetic material, plus a good looking Rabbi - sounds like a job for Torchwood!**

8 short chapters so you can enjoy all of Chanukah with the Torchwood Team.

Comments? Where are all my lovely readers - I know you're out there, don't be shy!

* * *

Jack and Owen drove over to the synagogue and arrived just as the bomb squad was pulling into their parking lot. They looked around for P.C. Andy, but saw he was occupied with getting the parking lot cleared. "We need to look at those dreidels before they blow them up," Jack growled. The two men jumped out of the SUV and raced over to where the bomb squad was setting up.

"Torchwood," Jack yelled, flashing them his ID. "We'd like to take a quick look at the crime scene before anything gets moved." The head of the squad gave his OK, but warned them not to touch anything. "If they are not dangerous, we'll give you some of them, but we don't know that yet, so please don't touch them."

Owen and Jack nodded their understanding. As they went to enter the synagogue, they were stopped by a man about Jack's age. He was medium height, with salt and pepper hair and a trim beard and mustache. He was dressed in slacks, a wool vest and a suit jacket.

"I'm Rabbi Katz," he introduced himself, shaking their hands, "may I help you?" When Jack explained that they were from Torchwood, the Rabbi looked surprised. As they went inside they saw the dreidels lying in a neat pile. "This wasn't here when we came in this morning. No one noticed anything until almost 10 o'clock. Fortunately, the teacher who discovered them knew better than to touch them. We called the police and evacuated the building immediately."

"Do you think all the missing dreidels are there?" Jack queried.

"Hard to say, I think 50 were stolen from the SUV, so most of them are here anyway. I suppose if they don't have to be blown up, we can count them and see."

At that moment, the police and bomb squad came in with a bomb sniffing dog. Jack, Owen and the Rabbi were asked to evacuate the building so they could inspect the entire facility for danger. The Rabbi refused. "If you are taking that dog through the sanctuary, I'll need to be present. I'm sorry, but I have to be certain that nothing is accidentally desecrated."

There was a little hemming and hawing with the police insisting that it was too dangerous. Jack smiled, "I think it's actually a good idea for the Rabbi to be present, he'll notice if anything is out of place. And I'm coming with as well."

Jack was surprised when the Rabbi looked at him, and said to him smiling, "You really think this might be part of an alien plot? We don't have enough enemies right here on earth, now we have to deal with aliens?"

Jack didn't know what to say. "We don't know what's going on anymore than you do. But some suspicious blue residue was noticed at some of the robbery sites, so we were called in just in case."

They looked carefully at the dreidels and Owen noticed some blue power just to the side of the pile. Owen went to sample some of it, but the bomb squad held him back. "Let's let the dog sniff it first, before we do anything else." A handler brought the bomb dog in who sniffed all over the entry area, but showed no particular interest in the dreidels. The handler then brought the dog over to the dreidels. He sniffed around the pile sneezing when he sniffed the blue powder. "Doesn't look too dangerous."

Jack asked Owen to wait for them outside while they finished the search. As the dog handler, Jack and Rabbi Katz began their search, he heard the rabbi ask, "Please, let's just keep this to ourselves, gentlemen. If the Sisterhood hears about me letting a dog with dirty paws in the sanctuary, I'm never going to hear the end of it." Jack and the handler chuckled. They walked through the rest of the building, including the classrooms, sanctuary, and administrative offices. The dog gave no sign of detecting anything.

The police indicated that they had one more step to take before the building could be declared safe. As they exited the building, a man in a hazmat suit came and carefully placed one of the dreidels in a sealed container. They took the container into the middle of the now empty parking lot and exploded it. It wasn't much of an explosion, just the charge they had attached to the container going off. So obviously there wasn't any incendiary device in the dreidel. They counted the remaining dreidels and determined that all 50 had been returned.

"We're going to take the rest of these for analysis, make sure there isn't any Ricin or other toxins on them that could be transferred by touch." At Jack's request they put two of the dreidels in a container for Owen to analyze back at the lab. Owen also scraped up a bit of the blue powder with a swab and sealed it in a plastic bag. The man in the hazmat suit treated the floor where the dreidels had sat to make sure that any possible contamination had been neutralized.

At the end of the search, the Rabbi sighed. "Well, I'm obviously glad that you didn't find anything, and all 50 dreidels have been accounted for, but this is so strange. To say that my congregation is a little shook up by this would be a bit of an understatement."

"Let's see if the lab analyses tell us anything," Jack advised. "We'll be in touch Rabbi, and thank you for your cooperation." The men shook hands and Owen and Jack made their way back to the SUV.

"So what do you think," Owen asked.

"Got me, but that blue powder is familiar…I just can't seem to think of where I've seen it before."

"Before, meaning here on earth?"

Jack shook his head 'no.'


	4. Chapter 4

SUMMARY: Disappearing dreidels, reappearing dreidels, strange blue powder with unidentified genetic material, plus **2** good looking Rabbis - sounds like a job for Torchwood!

Pictures of the dreidels stolen from the collectors house may be found at: http:/ /artwork_avivb. livejournal. com.5158 .html (remove the spaces)

8 short chapters so you can enjoy all of Chanukah with the Torchwood Team.

Comments are the best Chanukah presents ever!

* * *

In the meantime, Ianto and Tosh had contacted the Cardiff Reform Synagogue. They called and spoke to their junior Rabbi who said that he hadn't heard about any break-ins or other suspicious activities from his members. "Our dreidels are coming this evening, actually. We also have a community party during Chanukah, but since the holiday is eight days long, we've decided to do it on the fourth night since it will be Sunday and more people will be able to attend.

Ianto and Tosh asked if they could stop by the Synagogue and speak personally to the Senior Rabbi. An appointment was made for later in the afternoon.

Gwen had been busy as well. She had reviewed all the police reports for thefts and break-ins in Cardiff and outlying areas and found two more suspicious reports, both from Swansea. One report didn't pan out. A gift shop had been robbed, but when she checked further, it was a classic robbery, till emptied, vandalism, valuable gold and silver jewelry missing.

The second theft was of some unidentified glass knickknacks being taken from a home. When she contacted the homeowner, she learned that yes, they were dreidels. Nothing fancy, just ornamental. "I have a fondness for blown glass, and I've collected small paperweights for a number of years," the gentleman answered. "I discovered glass dreidels a few years ago, and have fallen in love with them. And I'm not even Jewish," he added sheepishly.

_'Now that's interesting,'_ thought Gwen. _'He's not Jewish, so maybe this isn't an attack on the Jewish community.' _She frowned, _'but then what is it, someone with a dreidel fetish?'_ She arranged to stop by the house in the afternoon and see where the robbery took place and review the events with him.

At 2 PM they gathered in the conference room to share what they had learned. Gwen was going to head over to Swansea following the meeting while Ianto and Tosh were going to go over to the Reform Synagogue. Owen hadn't identified any toxins but did get a positive for non-human genetic material.

Jack decided that he would go with Ianto to the synagogue and asked Tosh to stay behind and monitor the rift as well as check to see if any rift spikes corresponded to the dreidel disappearances. They agreed to meet back at the Hub around dinner time.

As they drove to the synagogue, Jack told Ianto about the Orthodox rabbi. "He knew all about Torchwood, I mean _really_ knew all about Torchwood."

Ianto wasn't surprised. "Jack, everyone knows about Torchwood."

"But he was so casual about it." Jack mused, "I almost expected him to start talking about weevils."

Ianto was very curious about the Rabbi. "So did he have one of those long black coats, and a hat, and the ear locks?"

Jack looked at him like he was demented. "What are you talking about? He looked like anyone else…in fact he was pretty hot, actually."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "No really, Ianto. He's probably in his late forties, a tad shorter than me, slender, nicely dressed in a wool jumper, and dress slacks, big brown eyes, long, long, incredibly long eyelashes…not that I was checking him out or anything."

Ianto snorted. "That's an Orthodox Rabbi you're talking about. I don't think his congregation would be too happy if he was fooling around with anyone, let alone a man. And before you start with your 'oh you people are so quaint' speech, remember he in the business of preserving traditions, not breaking them."

"You are no fun Ianto. Really. Why I remember this one Dragordian Minister….."

"No Jack, hell no, I don't want to hear about you and a man of the cloth."

Jack pouted.

They pulled into the parking lot of the Reform Synagogue and went into the building. There were parents dropping children off for after-school programs and the hallways were filled with kids heading every direction. A couple of middle-school boys were roughhousing in the hallway. A blond woman of about forty came out from an office and gently scolded the boys. She was tall and willowy, wearing a navy skirt and light blue sweater set. She walked over to them with a curious look on her face.

"Gentlemen, may I help you?"

"Yes, we're here from Torchwood to see Rabbi Robbi Brown. Is he available?"

She looked at them amused and bit her lower lip. Ianto thought she was stunning.

"Actually, I'm Rabbi Brown, that would be Roberta, but everyone calls me Robbi. Let's go into my office and talk about this dreidel mystery." She had slight accent, not Welsh that Ianto couldn't place.

As she turned around to lead them into her office, Ianto saw Jack admiring her legs. He gave him his sternest 'don't even think about it' look.

Her office looked like a typical professor's office. There were papers all over her desk and two walls were covered with book cases. Ianto could see that some of the books were in English while others were in what he thought was Hebrew.

"I heard from Rabbi Katz this afternoon about the dreidels being stolen and then returned." My congregants will probably hear about it shortly if they haven't already. I don't know if I can help you, as our Junior Rabbi told you we haven't had any reports of thefts. I will, of course put out an email to our members and ask that if anyone has had a dreidel stolen to contact the Cardiff Police."

"That would be very helpful," Ianto replied. "And if you could ask them to ask for P.C. Davidson that will help us to get the information quickly."

"Mr. Wolman, a member here drove to London first thing this morning to pick up our Chanukah party goods and will return this evening. In addition to individual purchases, he's picking up several hundred big plastic dreidels that will be filled with candy for the Chanukah party."

An idea was forming in Ianto's mind. "It seems as if these thieves are targeting known sources of dreidels. We've just found out that one small collection was stolen in Swansea from a glass collector who isn't even Jewish. I wonder if we could use your Chanukah delivery later tonight as bait."

"How so?" Rabbi Robbi asked.

"Well maybe we could put up a sign by the synagogue advertising your Chanukah party and the candy-filled dreidels you will have. Along with something like, 'wonderful dreidels are arriving on Wednesday,' yes I know that's today."

"I could probably get some of the younger children to do that now. But if someone shows up, what are you going to do?"

"With your permission, we'd like to stake out the synagogue with our team. If someone gains entry tonight, we'll nab them."

The Rabbi seemed concerned about this idea. "I have two reservations, gentlemen. First, guns are forbidden in our house of worship. Now, if it's for protection of a human life, it would be permitted, but that means you can only discharge a weapon if someone's life is in imminent danger. So you will need to promise to let someone escape rather than shoot them as long as they are not threatening anyone. My second concern is that I would need to stay here with you. Not that that's a problem, my husband is used to emergencies keeping me away from home. But if aliens show up don't you even think about giving me one of your little memory eraser pills afterwards. Retcon, I think you call it."

Jack and Ianto looked at each gob-smacked.

Rabbi Robbi laughed at their confusion. "I guess I should explain. Before I was a Rabbi, I was in military intelligence. Israeli military intelligence. So, I'm quite aware of Retcon and its effects."

Ianto stared at her. "You were in Mossad?"

"That's right, and I'm a darn good shot too. So I'll be armed as well. That is, of course, assuming that you are agreeable to my conditions.


	5. Chapter 5

SUMMARY: Disappearing dreidels, reappearing dreidels, strange blue powder with unidentified genetic material, plus **2** good looking Rabbis. A trap is set to catch the dreidel thieves

8 short chapters so you can enjoy all of Chanukah with the Torchwood Team

* * *

Jack and Ianto headed back to the Hub to meet with the rest of the team. As they ate a quick dinner of carry-out Chinese, they reviewed what they had found. Tosh had reviewed rift activity over the last few weeks but could find nothing that tied in with the disappearing dreidels. She had also taken a call from PC Andy that the shopkeeper from the gift store in Cardiff had found the expensive silver dreidel on a counter when he came back from lunch. Again, there were no signs of a break-in.

Owen had some interesting results from his testing. "It definitely is genetic material, but not human. And it doesn't match any known genetic patterns for animals either. But they are almost certainly epithelial cells."

"Skin cells," Jack pondered, 'that's interesting."

"So were looking for a blue skinned alien..." Ianto started...

"…in dire need of a good moisturizer," Gwen snarked.

After reviewing all the data available, they still couldn't figure out what was going on. Jack felt like the answer was right there…he just had to find the key to putting everything together. He was mentally reviewing all the species of alien life he knew of that had blue skin or scales or feathers, but couldn't think of any that would fit the events.

Ianto received a call from Rabbi Robbi on his cell letting him know that Mr. Wolman was expected at the synagogue around 9 PM. He let the Rabbi know that they would be there no later than 8:30. He put her on the speaker phone for the Team to hear.

"Good. Adult classes will be over by then so it will be just your team and myself." The doors will be locked, so please ring me on your cell once you are close. And leave the SUV down the block. If these are aliens trying to avoid detection the Torchwood Logo may scare them off."

After the call was finished, Jack wondered aloud who was in charge of the operation.

"I'll bet if she was cute, Jack would already be seducing her. I here he likes to be bossed around," Owen teased as he looked straight at Ianto.

"She is quite attractive," Ianto offered, "but she's married and a Rabbi and if Jack says one thing inappropriate to her, I'm going to kill him."

Jack laughed. "OK, well whoever is in charge, its not me apparently."

They drove over to the synagogue arriving right at 8:30 PM. They chuckled as they saw the big sign lit up by blue and white lights, obviously made by children announcing the Chanukah party.

**REALLY COOL CHANUKAH PARTY!**

**Games, toys and surprises.**

**Candy filled dreidels for all!**  
**  
**

They realized that there wasn't a date for the party which made it sound like it was imminent.

Mr. Wolman arrived at 9:15 and he and the Rabbi carefully unloaded all the items for the Chanukah party. Mr. Wolman had several deliveries to private homes, so he quickly left after his car was unloaded.

They put the dreidels in the middle of a conference room in plain sight. They hid around and outside the room and waited.

By midnight everyone was getting a little tired. But something told Jack that they just had to be patient.

At 2 AM, there was a flash of light, and some whispering in the conference room. Gwen hit the lights. Everyone gasped.


	6. Chapter 6

SUMMARY: Disappearing dreidels, reappearing dreidels, strange blue powder with unidentified genetic material, plus **2** good looking Rabbis. Who's stealing the dreidels? The trap is sprung! What did they catch?.

8 short chapters so you can enjoy all of Chanukah with the Torchwood Team.

If you don't know what Smurgs are, you can see a picture at http:/ artwork_avivb. livejournal. com/5406, html (remove spaces)

.

* * *

"Smurfs! They're Smurfs." Gwen yelled.

The three Smurfs were clearly surrounded. They huddled together and held up their hands in surrender.

"Actually they are known as Issacharians," Jack stated. "They are a quiet peaceful people, renowned for their scholarship and interest in learning. Some of them travel the galaxy in search of new knowledge and ideas which they then bring back to their home planet. I've never heard of one stealing anything or harming anyone."

Rabbi Robbi was transfixed. "Oh my. I wonder if their name is in reference to one of the Ten Lost Tribes of Israel? Issachar was a tribe made up largely of religious scholars."

Jack pulled out some chairs and suggested that they all sit. He motioned to the Smurf/Issacharians to sit as well. He tried speaking Standard to them, but they didn't seem to understand. "I wonder if they are from an earlier time period than me before Standard has evolved as the language of choice."

The little blue creatures whispered among themselves and the Rabbi was able to catch a few words. "I don't believe it. They are speaking Hebrew, sort of. Its slangy, but I can pick up some of what they are saying. They're terrified, actually."

She pointed to the dreidels and said the word 'dreidel'. The Smurfs shook their heads 'no.' The oldest of the Smurfs pointed to the dreidel and said 'seviron.' The Rabbi gasped. "The Hebrew word for dreidel is 'sevivon.' That can't be a coincidence."

She spoke slowly and patiently to the Smurfs and they began to speak back. As she began to piece the story together she asked more questions and got more information. The Team really wanted to know what was going on. Jack almost interrupted a few times, but Rabbi Robbi held up her hand signaling him to wait.

Finally she spoke to the group. "As best as I can understand, they came here by accident. They say they are not from this time, but are from the year 3235 by our reckoning. And they do call themselves Issacharians. They say they weren't always called this but adopted the name centuries ago. Apparently, they were visited by a human who was also traveling the galaxy in search of knowledge. They were so impressed with his knowledge that they wanted to adopt his language and customs. He was so impressed with their desire to learn that he gave them the name Issacharians in honor of some of his kinsman, and I quote, who were lost long ago."

Ianto was fascinated by them. "Can you ask them what the man looked like and if they knew his name?"

She spoke some more to the Smurfs and then turned to Ianto. "This is getting stranger by the minute. They say his original name was lost, but he is known to them as Rebbe Baruch (Blessed Rabbi). And they said he wore a long black coat and a black hat and had ringlets. Apparently they were visited by a Hassidic Rabbi!"

"But are they Jewish?" Tosh asked.

The Rabbi laughed. "We can't even agree today who is Jewish and who is not, so I won't touch that one." She added, "While I'd love to delve into this some more, I think I'd better see if I can find out what they want with the dreidels."

She conversed some more, struggling a bit to understand. "Well, here's the story. When they crash landed, they burnt out the power core of their spaceship. The cores are in the shape of the dreidel because they were unable to travel in space until Rebbe Baruch visited them. He gave them the technology to reach the stars and to them it was a miracle. So when they designed their first space ship long after the Rebbe had left, someone decided that it would nice to make the power container in the shape of a dreidel so that they would remember the story that he told them about the miracle of Chanukah and the Everlasting Power (as they call it)."

Jack began to understand. "So they've been stealing the dreidels to see if any of them can be used as a suitable power core. And apparently, none has fit the bill."

"Oh, its just like Cinderella, and the glass slipper," Gwen gushed.

Owen rolled his eyes.

Jack smiled. "Actually, that's a very good analogy. Power cores have to fit exactly into their chambers. Otherwise the power won't transfer and the ship either won't fly or could explode once its in flight. Rabbi, can you ask them if we can see their ship? Tell them that we want to help and we are not going to hurt them or steal their ship."

Rabbi Robbi translated Jack's request. The Smurfs whispered amongst themselves nervously.

"Tell them I'm from the Boeshane Peninsula," Jack added.

When she said those words the Smurfs looked at Jack in amazement and then smiled.

They began to talk rapidly and The Rabbi had to slow them down several times as she took notes. "They say their ship is right outside of town and they'd be honored to show you their ship. They said they feel much better knowing that they are not the only ones lost from their proper time."


	7. Chapter 7

SUMMARY: Disappearing dreidels, reappearing dreidels, strange blue powder with unidentified genetic material, plus **2** good looking Rabbis. Torchwood helps the aliens return home.

8 short chapters so you can enjoy all of Chanukah with the Torchwood Team

Be sure to check out the graphics of the dreidel and the spaceship at: http:/ artwork_avivb. livejournal. com/ (just remove the spaces)

* * *

They drove out to the ship in the Torchwood SUV. The Smurfs were so short that Owen and Ianto had to lift them into the vehicle. When they got to the ship, they saw that it was quite small and certainly not designed for any type of attack. They were all able to fit inside if they ducked a bit.

Examining the chamber they could clearly see that it was designed to hold a dreidel shaped object. The Hebrew letters were there along with some very elaborate scroll work.

Owen snorted. "Well its not going to be easy to find a dreidel that's going to be an exact fit. Not with all that extra decoration."

"Maybe we could make a mold…" Tosh started to say.

"Got it!" Ianto's shouting startled them all especially the Smurfs. He smiled at them, to hopefully calm them down. "The solution is in the song!" They looked at him like he was demented. "The dreidel song," he said in exasperation.

It only took a moment, and Rabbi Robbi began to smile. "I had a little dreidel."

"I made it out of clay," Ianto continued,

"And when its dry and ready," the Rabbi added

"The aliens will fly away," Ianto concluded.

"Ok, he's lost it for sure," Owen said in disgust.

"No, listen…we get some clay, and we make a mold in the shape of the dreidel. Actually, wax would work best. We can melt the wax, pour it in the chamber, wait for it to dry and then lift it out. We hollow it out and use that as the form for the dreidel. You coat the wax in something durable, metal, or plastic or something, and you melt the wax off before you seal the form. And you end up with a perfectly fitting dreidel."

"Where are we going to get wax at this time of night?" Owen groused.

"Oh, I think a few hundred Chanukah candles should do the trick," Jack said excitedly. "Explain to them what we want to do and that we want to remove the chamber so we can make the mold."

With a little cajoling the Smurfs finally agreed. They stopped back at the synagogue, loaded up the hundred or so boxes of candles and headed to the Hub, Rabbi and Smurfs in tow.

Ianto set up a small burner and melted the wax. Jack and the Rabbi continued to talk to the Smurfs to figure out if the inside of the core was totally hollow. Fortunately it was. Ianto sprayed the chamber with an alien anti-stick solution and poured the wax into the chamber. Everyone held their breaths. He got nervous about the wax sticking and tried to remove it too soon. The wax was still soft and quickly warped out of shape.

Everyone groaned.

"Not a problem. The wax can be re-melted and we'll try it again." This time he patiently waited until the wax was fully cooled.

Gwen had the idea of putting the chamber filled with wax into the freezer for a bit. "We do that with some baking stuff to make sure that cakes come out cleanly." It was a stroke of genius. After a half hour in the freezer, Ianto carefully inverted the chamber and a solid dreidel shaped mold slid out.

He carefully hollowed out the mold until The Smurfs nodded their approval. Jack had set up some equipment in the conference room, so they carefully took the wax mold up there. Jack showed them the electroplating system he had set up. It was a little primitive, but if they were careful he felt they should be able to coat the wax form inside and out with a very think coat of metal.

Everyone waited for him to begin. "Oh no," he said laughing; I don't have the patience for this type of work. However, Tosh has a delicate touch, so she's agreed to give it a try."

"But I want all of you out of here so I can concentrate." She put on a magnifying headset and prepared to get to work. "This will take several hours, so you will all have to be patient."

As they waited in the Hub, the Rabbi, Jack, Ianto and Gwen continued to converse with the Smurfs. It turned out that they had been stuck in Cardiff for several months, despairing what to do, until they saw a dreidel in a store window. From then on, they were on a constant hunt for them. They didn't find many until December when all of a sudden, they began to see them everywhere. They literally went into a frenzy trying to find a dreidel that would fit into the chamber.

When the Rabbi explained that they had a religious significance for people at this time of year, they were extremely apologetic and embarrassed. Ianto would later claim that he was sure one of the Smurfs started to turn pink with shame.

Several hours later, Tosh was finally finished with the electroplating. They looked at the finished product and the Smurfs seemed very happy with the results. They used hot water to remove the wax, Tosh sealed up the few small holes along the edges left open for drainage and they were ready to see if it worked.

They drove back to the spaceship and went inside. The sun was just coming up and everything had a beautiful pink glow. Jack thought about the sunrises on his home planet and realized how homesick and scared the Isaacharians must be.

Tosh was too nervous to try the fit, so Jack carefully placed the form over the chamber and lowered it down. It fit perfectly. All of a sudden lights began to blink inside the ship. The eldest Smurf told the Rabbi that if the fit was perfect stage one of the launch process would begin, but that there was no danger of a lift-off until they loaded the fuel core.

They all shook hands and the youngest Smurf began to give the rest of the 'borrowed' dreidels back to the team. The final dreidel she held was the one with the four cats. Gwen could see how reluctant the Smurf was to part with this one. "Why don't we let them keep the last dreidel as a present from us?"

Jack was about to object when Ianto added, "you know, I saw that one online, and I don't think it was much more than £15. Why not? We can get another one and the owner will never know the difference."

Rabbi Robbi smiled. "And I have an idea." She motioned for the dreidel and the Smurf pouted but handed it to her. She pulled out a sharpie and wrote something on one side of the dreidel - **רַב**** רומֵמָה**(Rabbi Romema*). She pointed to herself as she handed it back for the Smurfs to look at. They were whispering again, but clearly saying "Rebbe, Rebbe."

"Apparently they can read Hebrew a bit as well." Why don't I write each of your names on the dreidel in Hebrew so they will remember us. She explained what she wanted to do, and the Smurfs nodded in agreement. "Jack is easy; that would be Jacob or Yaakov - **יַעֲקֹב**." She showed the names to the Smurfs pointing to Jack. "Ianto is John which would be Y'honatan - **יְהוֹנָתָן** or Jonathan. I'll write that write below Jack. Gwen means Moon Goddess, right?"

Gwen nodded.

"Well a goddess would be a no-no in Judaism, but the Song of Solomon does refer to a white moon which is used as a girl's name. So that would be Levanah - **לְבָנָה**. We'll put that on the next cat. Owen means the nobleman. I think we should go with Yoram, - **יְהוֹרָם** which is a shortened version of Yehoram which means exalted by G-d."

"He certainly thinks so," Ianto snarked.

"Finally we have Toshiko. I have to admit that I don't know the meaning of your name."

"It means intelligent girl." Toshiko felt a little embarrassed by her name.

The Rabbi nodded. "That's a beautiful name. In Hebrew it would be Bina - **בִּינָה**which means understanding and wisdom." She handed the dreidel back to the Smurfs who looked at each name and pointed to carefully to each person it represented. Finally, the Smurfs signaled that it was time for them to leave. (Waving bye-bye is apparently a universal signal).

As they stepped outside, they heard the Smurfs yell, "Chag sameach." "Happy Holiday," the Rabbi translated. The hatch closed and a few minutes later the space ship rose into the air and then streaked across the sky like a comet. They stood and watched the ship until it vanished on the horizon. Tosh sighed. "I hope they get home safely. It isn't often that we get aliens that are actually nice visiting us."

It was already 7 AM so they drove the Rabbi home and then crashed at the Hub.

* * *

-*There is no requirement that the English and Hebrew names of a person must be the 'same.' While they often are, particularly if they are biblical names (Sara, Rachael, Jacob (Ya'akov), Abraham), you could name a child Aaron in Hebrew and Fred in English if you wanted. Traditionally, Ashkenazi Jews (from Europe) name their children for a deceased relative. So there may be a convention of what the Hebrew/English combination is or there may not. Many times, there is no English equivalent (as in the case of Romema in our story), and people will pick a name that sounds similar to the Hebrew or perhaps starts with the same letter and has the same number of syllables, e.g. Romema/Roberta. However, even where there is a clear English equivalent, if the name is deemed old-fashioned or perhaps "too Jewish" then another name will be chosen. Moses is English for Moshe, but the child's English name more often will be Morris (very common in my grandparents generation) , Martin or Marvin, (in my generation) or Madison, Madsen, or Maxim today.


	8. Chapter 8

SUMMARY: **Chanukah is saved! Parties are held, everyone (including Torchwood) sings songs, eats latkes and plays dreidel.****  
**  
Graphics for this chapter may be found at: http:/ artwork_avivb. livejournal. com (remove spaces)

**WE'RE AT THE END - HOPE YOU ENJOYED**! **If you did, let me know, cause comments encourage more writing, and you do want more crackfic, right? And if you're real good, you'll get a Christmas crackfic full of silly!****  
**

* * *

A few days later, after all the dreidels had been returned, and a plausible story had been created for Rabbi Katz, Jack received an email from Rabbi Robbi.

_**Torchwood is invited to A**_

_**REALLY COOL CHANUKAH PARTY!**_

_**Games, toys and surprises.**_

_**Candy filled dreidels for all!**_

_**Sunday 2:00 PM!**_

He forwarded the email to the rest of the team and they all decided that if the rift was quiet they would attend.

The synagogue was in total chaos when they arrived. Children running everywhere, laughing mostly, but a few little ones crying loudly. The large community hall was set up with tables. They peaked in and felt a little intimidated by all the families who obviously knew each other. Rabbi Robbi spotted them and brought them over to a table. where she, her husband and children were sitting. A few minutes later, the candles were lit, and a little child of about 5 stumbled her way through the Hebrew blessings.

Gwen and Tosh were practically squealing at her cuteness. Ianto, Jack and Owen rolled their eyes.

Big plates of latkes (potato pancakes) and applesauce and sour cream were brought to the tables and everyone was given a large plastic dreidel filled with chocolate gelt (Yiddish for money) along with a small plastic dreidel to play with.

There were also jelly donuts which the Torchwood team looked at with confusion.

"In Israel, they eat sufganiyot or jelly donuts in addition to potato pancakes (levivot)," the Rabbi's husband explained. A children's choir came up and sang some Chanukah songs including the infamous Dreidel Song. Everyone sang along with the English songs and Ianto seemed to know the words to most of the songs sung in Hebrew as well.

Jack and Ianto and Owen played the dreidel game ruthlessly with the Rabbi's children and still managed to lose. Jack and Ianto laughed at the kids' antics, while Owen scowled a lot. The Rabbis son, who was maybe four, looked at Owen and told him, "You should smile. A miracle happened and that should make you happy." Owen gave the child a pained smile. Gwen and Tosh played with the Rabbi's two daughters when they got tired of the dreidel game.

The party started to break up around 4 and Owen, Gwen and Tosh made an early exit. Jack and Ianto hung around a bit. They wanted to thank the Rabbi for her help in getting the Issacharians home. After most of the people were gone, the Rabbi was able to return to their table.

Ianto and Jack sat for a while and chatting the Rabbi and her husband. The children had gone over to another table to play with some of their friends.

It was obvious that her husband knew all about the aliens. "Don't worry," he said laughing, "before I was a dentist I was also in Mossad. And I was a higher rank than her."

Jack and Ianto thanked the Rabbi for her help and complimented her on her kind treatment of the aliens. "Well, my people know a little bit about being strangers in a strange land," she pointed out.

The Rabbi's husband had been fairly quiet throughout this exchange, but added. "Its comforting to think that thousands of years from now someone like us will still be out there in the stars. Maybe not exactly the same as us, but close enough."

"You know its good to know that the human race survives, even if it ends up on Boeshane," the Rabbi said with a small smile on her face.

It did not go unnoticed that Jack had taken Ianto's hand when the Rabbi had begun to talk about strangers in a strange land. "So I couldn't help but notice, but are you two a couple?"

Jack and Ianto looked at each other. Ianto blushed saying, "Well, I don't know that we define…"

"Yes. Yes we are," said Jack. "I hope that's not a problem."

"Oh, not at all. We've been performing civil union ceremonies here for a number of years."

"So Ianto, want to get married here?" Jack teased.

"Well you would have to become Jewish," the Rabbi pointed out.

"Ianto and I wouldn't mind. He already knows most of the songs apparently and I know lots of languages so Hebrew wouldn't be that hard."

The Rabbi and her husband looked at each other trying not to laugh. "There's a lot more to becoming Jewish than the songs and speaking Hebrew. And there is one important little detail that is specific to men that you've skipped over if you want to become Jewish."

"I think they would tell you that its a big detail," her husband snickered.

Ianto suddenly realized what they were talking about. "Jack I think you may want to reconsider."

"Why what can be so terrible?" Ianto whispered into Jack's ears. The Rabbi and her husband watched as Jack blanched white.

"Oh no, your kidding, right?"

Rabbi Robbi shook her head. "Absolutely serious."

Jack stood up abruptly. "Its been a pleasure, time to go Ianto, weevils to catch, aliens to send home.

Ianto stood up. "Its really has been a pleasure, but I think we'll just stop by and say hello every once in while."

They all laughed. Jack wished them both the best. "Happy Chanukah."

"Chag Sameach," Ianto added.

"Merry Christmas, to both of you," The Rabbi said. "Be safe, G-d go with you."

After Jack and Ianto had left, the Rabbi turned to her husband. "They do know I was just having a little fun with them, don't they?"

"We men tend to be very sensitive about that particularly topic."

"I'd like to invite them to our community Seder for Passover. Think they'd come?"

"I'm sure they would," the Rabbi's husband said with a twinkle in his eye, "just don't invite them to a bris milah before Passover and I'll think you'll be fine."

**HAPPY CHANUKAH**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS**

**G-D BLESS US, EVERYONE!**


End file.
